Self-sabotage Kills Dreams: Stop Doing It With These Tips

welcome back to the mystery Mrs muscle podcast a show for the health conscious individual that struggles with consistency I'm Mike and I'm Viv and today we're going to be fighting self-sabotage head-on now if you listen to the last episode we asked you five questions that was to help determine if you're really trying to meet the fitness goals or if you're in self-sabotage mode now Viv what did we discover about ourselves we were self-sabotaging okay how's this week been this week has been better but I found that sometimes uh when you change your focus to improve one area of your life another area suffers yeah and this tends to happen on that Journey you know of fixing these these problems like self-sabotage anyway those questions that we asked you in the previous episode really quickly were what are your fitness goals and why do you have a morning routine is nutrition important to you on a scale of one to ten how healthy do you think you are and the last question was have you ever had a health Epiphany that made you want to change your lifestyle now your answers to these questions would have helped to paint a picture of honesty let me repeat that word honesty and that is step one in the battle for breaking through self-sabotage so without further Ado let's get started with the episode are you ready yep all right let's let's do it okay so the first thing we're going to do is pretty much discuss definition so what is self-sabotage and I want those of you listening to just answer what comes to your head so really quickly what do you think self-sabotage is self-sabotage Is wealth to me basically when you're actions are not necessarily something that's going to support something that you lead or want in your life um that is creating a barrier rather than helping things flow okay and I suspect most people pretty much said something similar or the same thing now the interesting thing here is if you actually look for a dictionary definition of self-sabotage you won't find um so if you typed in what yourself sabotaging to Google immediately you're going to find I've actually got an answer here you're going to find something that says when people do or don't do things that block their success or prevent themselves from accomplishing their goals which is pretty much similar to what you just said yeah I guess it's hard to Define isn't it because that could be so many different things I agree and I think any time it comes to defining something to do the self we often find that we start going into the psychological territory so we start looking for psychological definitions you're going to find a whole wealth of different research different opinions from experts but the reason that I want to hone in on the definition of self-sabotage is if I asked you to Define sabotage something that actually has a universal definition that we all pretty much agree with and understand what would you say sabotages to deliberately um mess something up pretty much or deter something yeah for pretty much one so like if you was to go and look at the dictionary definition of sabotage the answer that you're going to find is to deliberately destroy damage or obstruct something so if I were to say to you again what is self-sabotage would you consider your answer to be different to the first time that you're answering it it's I guess so yeah because you are putting up blocks aren't you you are yeah is is deliberate so essentially what we're dealing with is like we're dealing with the importance of definition here and not kind of like modeling and like I said if you looked for a dictionary definition of self-sabotage you won't find one but when you look for the definition of sabotage you will find one that is universally understood to deliberately destroy damage or obstruct something so I kind of think the first step in really trying to fix something I mean like how can you fix something that you don't understand or know what it is so I would say defining things is really key yeah and I think look anyone that knows where has had a conversation with me for longer than an hour I understands that plenty I'm very big so much and help please yeah it's true people and I can have conversations and they're gonna appear one-sided um for hours I could actually talk to them for like four or five hours straight no he really can yeah she doesn't like it okay so hopefully we've got a definition here of self-sabotage that you guys understand so let's have a quick look at why we solve sabotage really quickly in your opinion why do most of us self-sabotage like what kind of cause is that I would say self-belief fear is definitely a huge one I'm pretty sure there's other reasons but those ones I suppose would be my reasons for self-sabotage okay and maybe a lack of understanding yeah I agree I think all of I think all of the above and all of those and so like I've been reading loads and loads of Articles when it comes to self-sabotage a few research papers and the most common reasons as to why we self-sabotage include fear limiting beliefs and negative self-talk so I want to quickly kind of touch on each of those starting with like firstly are there things you feel that you feel now it sounds like again this obvious question and I want those of you that are listening or watching at home to kind of like try and answer these questions as we go along but let's talk fear firstly are there things that you feel I can speak of things that are feared in the past I'm not really sure about what I fear right now but I I fear sometimes the the unknown um that's a huge one actually uh what else do I fear failure well I used to feel Thailand this is the thing it's like I love this it thinks that I I suppose used to hold me back and were like self-sabotaging behaviors and barriers to me but these are things that I've only I guess recently overcome which I'm so happy about because life really does open up when you do so um going back to the question which was do you fear things do I fear things what things do I fear um what more do you fear things not so much you see and the reason I love this is okay if I'd ask you that question I don't know let's say six months ago would you have said the same thing yes yeah definitely because also I was my biggest fear yeah which I've just overcame overcome overcome uh what was it from February driving I passed my driving test what if we use this yeah well done well done um but driving was a big fear for me and it was it was also about trusting myself yep and also not being overwhelmed so trust in my reactions like on the road am I gonna actually be capable of doing this and driving and one of the things that actually obstructed me in that was overthinking yeah this is really this is really interesting yeah um sorry that kind of you touched on something earlier you said the word uncertainty which is really key when it comes to fear because if you said to yourself I mean those of you that answered at 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